Birthday Feels

Entry Date: 6, August 2019 10:47 A.M

As a child, I’ve always been able to express my feelings – often through pen and paper. It’s always been my way of expressing the thoughts I had trouble vocalizing. During stages of adolescence, I learned quickly how sensitive and intuitive I was to people’s feelings and thoughts. It often resulted in me taking on other people’s emotions of what they were feeling, often to my detriment. Early on into my adulthood, I learned a difficult lesson from an old relationship that was hard for me to process.

There are people who only want to stay connected to you, to use the way you show love as a place to mask their pain. I couldn’t understand how there were people who intentionally seek to use you; and I could’ve just been trying to find the good in people —- or just naive. Nonetheless, I became angry and distant and it showed in the way I interacted with peope. I didn’t want to be that person anymore; and it took a lot of self awareness and reflection to climb myself out of it.

This is all to say, it took a very challenging relationship to learn what to put energy into and what not to put energy into. I learned when I have to question myself or my place in someone’s life, then that alone is my answer to whether it deserves my energy. I eventually embraced and welcomed my gift as an empath; and today, working as a counselor just reaffirmed that I am perfect the way that I am and that I am destined to help those who are genuinely in need. Happy 24th to me ✨